No! Not the paintings, my business cards.

I figure I can save Art Gallery proprietors the time and trouble of having to dispose of them one by one.

Thoughts on Art Gallery submissions

As it happens I’m not represented by a single UK gallery, nope, not one, and I think I’m right in saying I’m in pretty good company. As I understand it neither David Shepherd nor Jack Vetriano, masters in their respective genre, were snapped up by galleries – until of course sales of their prints sold in such staggering quantities that simple greed (sorry, astute business practise) meant they could no longer be ignored.

I rarely even put myself forward any longer – tell you what, I’ll tell you of a couple of gallery experiences that have occured recently – you’ll see what I mean.

Before Christmas a pal and I took it into our heads to pop down to Brighton for a rumage, it’s only about an hour and a quarter  from The Witterings on a good day – this despite the fact it pissed down all day, but we’re hardy souls my pal and I, and Barbour jackets are wonderful things.

I clocked pretty swiftly that there were a lot of art galleries – as far as I could see all selling contempory graphical work, which isn’t really my cup of tea, but some are clever (that was big of me wasn’t it laughing) and as we wandered through the North Lanes I thought I’d pop into one and have a chat. ‘The Enter Gallery’ was large, double fronted, and appeared to have a couple of approachable ladies working in it, so in we strolled.

We had a nice little chat, about the weather and our matching coats (?) and the next thing I said, after I’d introduced myself, was that I could see my work was not suitable for their gallery but perhaps, as art professionals, they might see fit to point me at a gallery that would be a better fit – I explained I had a photo or two I could show them on my phone.  Their response was to hand me a card, and with that slight tilt of the nose (it’s always tempting to ask if I’d farted or they had) she suggested I should send them some jpg’s and they’d be in touch. This isn’t Bond Street remember – it’s Hippytown, Brighton, and we were the only people in there!

I sighed, smiled sadly, and we left in search of a hamburger. What is it with gallery proprietors? Where do I have to go to find one that’s got a  ________ pulse?

We actually had quite a nice time – until we came to leave and learnt that our car parking charge for the three hours was £21! Still, why let a little honest extortion spoil an otherwise pleasant day?

December Gales 1 by Steve Bonner. Acrylic on canvas. 50cm x 50cm

Avalable from Billy’s on the Beach, Bracklesham

Not local enough!

I think I must have been feeling a little light headed Sunday past. I’d come across a ‘West End Gallery’ for local artists online (this I assume is the west end of Worthing, and not, as the name might suggest, the West End of London, so it’s pretty local) so I emailed them an introduction and a pic on the off-chance. Probably not my first choice for a gallery to represent me and ‘bring me on as an artist’ but it’s on the same stretch of coast so why not. Nope, blown out again! An email came back Monday morning regreting that I wasn’t sufficently local. True, it’s 45/50 minutes by car (we live on a penninsula we have to drive off before we get to a main road) but if I pop down the road I can see Worthings bloody wind farm!

Now here’s a strange coincidence. Monday afternoon I had a phone call from Marina Concierge in Chichester to tell me that they had someone in the shop who had driven down from Worthing specifically to view my work (they have half a dozen paintings of mine hanging) had bought one and returned to Worthing. Strange, eh, you couldn’t make it up could you?

Everyone is telling me I should pass this on to the West End gallery and suggest they should reconsider, but no, I will cut my nose off to spite my face. ____ ’em!

My kindest refusal.

Some years back I took a punt and emailed the Fowey River Gallery, more in hope than expectation, and had a charming reply from the proprietor – no, honestly, I’m not being sarcastic for once. He wrote me a very personal and considered reply saying he would very much like to have me on board but as they already represented Shane Couch (the best in this genre by far) who’s work was similar to mine (and more profitable and sought after he could have added) he regreted, etc, etc. Never mind – a miss is as good as a mile! (I’m not putting a link on here to Shanes website so don’t bother looking laughing)

In passing

If any of you know of a half reasonable gallery, possibly in a seaside town, who might consider representing me do let me, or them, know would you please. It might be rather nice to come in from the cold.  Only one proviso, and it is asking rather a lot – the proprietor has to have a pulse! smile

By way of a footnote. What is it with this constant demand the galleries make for jpg’s? Why don’t I just give you my url? I put a great deal of time and effort into my website, it’s probably a lot better than yours! No – we want jpg’s. Oy vey.

Thanks for reading,

Pip, pip

Top of the page: December Gales 2 by Moi. Acrylic on canvas, 35cm x 46cm ‘ish. Both these paintings are for sale – they’re currently hanging in Billy’s on the Beach, down in Bracklesham, but here’s a link to my sales page

I will put a couple of links on here. Firstly The Fowey River Gallery

and secondly The Enter Gallery, Brighton. You decide smile